Composing A Complete Proposal

In an interview this week I was asked if I could give ONE piece of advice about proposing, what it would be. It's difficult to choose only one, but if I absolutely had to, I'd just ask guys not to wing it. Asking a girl to marry you is a big question. You're asking her to spend her life with you after all. Plus, it's a question she has probably been excited to hear for quite sometime. Give it the thought it deserves.

I was a journalism major in college and they teach you to always ask the Five W's: who, what, when, where and why. These questions encompass the most basic information gathering and are the backbones to helping you formulate a complete story. When it comes to proposing, the what and the who are easy, but what about the when, where, and why? The beauty of these questions is that you can't answer them with a simple yes or no. Give them some thought, and if you can't answer all of them, then your story isn't ready.

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A Chicago Rooftop Proposal

Tony Vega is Bespoke’s latest proposal success story. He lives with his now fiancée in Chicago, and took a few minutes to answer some questions for us.

Elizabeth Carter: How did you know you wanted to propose to Gina?

Tony Vega: I proposed to the love of my life on February 15^th, 2013. A couple weeks earlier she and I decided it was time to take the next step in our relationship. We had been together since December 2011. To some that may seem like a short period but when you know, you know. I never really got that until I meant Gina, it’s something that people say but sounds like a myth or legend until you experience the love and trust we feel for one another.

At first the thought of proposing was nerve-racking. I knew it was something that every girl anticipates her whole life. I definitely did not want to disappoint her. Originally my thought was to do an all-day proposal, where we would have event after event planned after the initial proposal, keeping up the fun and excitement throughout the day. Our best dates have usually been all-day things, so I knew it was how I wanted to propose.

EC:  When you and I met, you already had this broad vision of how you wanted to propose.  How did you turn that vision into a reality?

TV: I had a broad idea of how I wanted the proposal to go, but they were just random thoughts, and I didn't have the first idea of how to take to make it all come together. Elizabeth helped out hugely here by giving me several options for each event, venue, etc. All I had to do was pick the ones I liked. At the end of the day I made the choices myself, but didn't have to do the grunt work of researching options, calling for reservations, speaking to staff ahead of time, and negotiating deals. I work 10-11 hour days and this all had to be planned in secrecy so there would just not have been time for me to do this all on my own.

EC: Describe how the day went for you. 

TV: In early February I contacted Gina’s boss and told him that I needed his help in getting Gina somewhere so I could propose. He came up with a plan that involved telling her she had to go to a networking event and should bring a date. I loved this because she called me a few minutes later, excited to invite me to the event. I laughed to myself as it began to fall into place.

Elizabeth and I chose ROOF, a rooftop restaurant atop the Wit hotel in Chicago as the spot where I would propose. Once we had made that decision, Elizabeth contacted the staff there, arranging all of our particulars. She picked out the most private, romantic area in the restaurant and reserved a table for us. She also arranged for two glasses of champagne, oysters, and a bottle of wine to be on ice for when it was go time.  We considered hiring a photographer to catch the moment, but settled on asking the wait staff to take photos with a camera I brought along, and they happily obliged. ROOF doesn't open until 4:00 pm, but Elizabeth arranged for me to get in early to set up. I showed up at 3:40 pm and met the restaurant manager, who escorted me to up the venue. Once up there, I met the staff and they showed me to our table in a very secluded part of the restaurant. They had put up a median wall so we would have no disturbances. Gina arrived at 4:15, right on time, and was none the wiser. She asked where everyone was and I said they must not have been here yet. She then asked if there was a coat check because she didn't want to have to carry her jacket around during the whole event. I motioned for her to put it at a very nice table which overlooked the city and had it's own fireplace. She was confused because that table was reserved, I told her yes it is, it’s reserved for us! I then began to give the speech I had prepared (with some help from this blog!) and got down on one knee. She said yes! 

From the Roof we headed to the Fairmont Millennium Park Hotel where Elizabeth had arranged for our regular room  to be upgraded to a suite with the most breathtaking views. We even had champagne and chocolate covered roses waiting for us as we arrived. Before letting Gina into our room I had her wait in the hallway so I could go in and light all the candles that I had placed there earlier that day. In addition to the candles I placed about 12 framed pictures of us from some of our favorite memories as a couple throughout the room and decorated the tables and bed with rose petals. I turned on the song “I Will” by The Beatles and called for Gina to come in. She was ecstatic! She loved everything, her eyes lit up when she saw the candlelit suite filled with photos from our relationship. 

Just when she thought it was over I told her to put her shoes back on as we had just five minutes to get downstairs for our dinner reservations at Aria, a renowned Asian cuisine restaurant in the Fairmont. Elizabeth had once again contacted the restaurant in advance to make sure we had a private table in a scenic section of the restaurant. Elizabeth suggested we have sushi for dinner because this is what we ate on our first date. After I decided to eat at Aria I remembered I had seen the exact sushi rolls we ordered from our first date in my ipPone at one point. I scrolled through my notepad app and found the exact rolls we had ordered that first night! Aria was able to create personalized menus with a message from me to Gina and had them placed at our table along with the roses we had prearranged.

The night was not yet over! After our fantastic dinner we headed to our room where we changed to our swim suits and went across the street to the Fairmont’s sister hotel, the Swissotel. We relaxed and swam in their 42^nd floor pool while gazing upon the great city of Chicago. 

The night could not have gone better and it definitely could not have gone so seamlessly and smoothly if I did not have Elizabeth at bat for me! Thanks to her help we will have a lifelong memory that we will love to tell and never forget! 

Burning a Hole in Your Pocket

Don’t let “my precious” ruin your proposal planning

For many guys, even the best proposal plans go to waste once in possession of their engagement ring.  After all, diamond rings burn faster holes in pockets than the cold hard cash that bought them.  Nobody wants to wait until the last minute to purchase their ring.  Often, purchasing an engagement ring is the first thing that a guy does when he is about to propose.  But possessing your ring can be dangerous, just ask Gollum.     

This isn’t Middle-earth, there are steps that you can take to secure the perfect ring, plan the perfectly timed proposal and keep your sanity.  One of the easiest alternatives is to simply leave your ring with your jeweler until the time comes when you are ready to pop the question.  Most jewelers need time to resize the ring anyway, and will happily provide this service free of charge for an extended time.  Another alternative is a safe deposit box at your bank. Another potential benefit of keeping your ring in your jeweler’s safe is that it will be insured under the store’s policy.  While jewelry in a safe deposit box at a bank may also be insured, it’s always a good idea to fully insure your engagement ring privately once you take possession of it. The greatest risk of having your engagement ring at home or in your pocket is the increased likelihood of loss, discovery, and above all it burning a hole in your pocket before your ready with the perfect plan.  

Secure that ring until it’s time Gents.        

Where are the Ladies?

We love Trulia for all things homey, but getting advice on dating from them? We were happily surprised this week when they published a survey that tested the correlation between love and housing. Where does a single guy have the best chance of finding a single girl? The East Coast wins it big time, claiming nine of the top 10 cities. Washington, DC, New York, and Boston top the list of cities filled with single women, closely followed by Raleigh, NC, Richmond, VA, Atlanta, GA and Baltimore, MD. So guys, if you're mobile and looking, head east!

Happy Valentines Day

Whether you think it's a Hallmark holiday or you go all out, we wish you a day filled with LOVE.

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Don't break the bank!

We've touched before on the importance of keeping your proposal personalized to you, but a common misconception is that we only plan proposals that are expensive and elaborate. On the contrary! Our goal with every proposal is to create details that are perfect for you as a couple, not spend all of your dough. Yes, we can break the bank if you want us to, but we have come up with proposal ideas that cost less than $100, total! We specialize in details you may never think of on your own and often, the ones we implement into your proposal are inexpensive or at no cost. These are things like music, lighting, and a timeline for the day so you don't get off track. And when you consider the free perks and upgrades our relationships with our vendors provide (hotels, restaurants, etc.), you may actually end up saving money by using us. Here is some of our best inspiration for creating a proposal without breaking the bank.

 

Yell it from the rooftops

We love this proposal by NYC native Jason Shelowitz. An occasional graffiti artist, Jason decided to put his skills to use and created a unique and personal proposal for his girlfriend last week by painting the words, "Rachel Will You Marry Me?" across five rooftops in NYC's Upper East Side. "The rooftops came to me because they are visible from our apartment and I thought proposing on our terrace was a nice idea. The rest is history," Shelowitz told the Huffington Post. It's personal, it's ceative, and it barely cost a dime. We love it. Congrats Jason! 

Bespoke: Custom Made

We've had several people ask us exactly where we derived our name. The "Proposal" part you know, but bespoke is a word that not everyone immediately recognizes.

"Bespoke" is a term that dates back tot he 17th century, when tailors on London's famed Savile Row collected unique lengths of cloth for customers seeking custom garments. When a customer chose a length of material for his suit, it was said to have "been spoken for." Today, when a tailor that makes clothes specially according to a customer's specific measurements, tastes, and needs, he is said to be "bespoke."

Bespoke tailors first discuss with their clients what type of suite they want and how they intend to wear it. Once they understand the desired outcome, Savile Row's bespoke tailors take more than 35 measurements to ensure the design is perfectly suited to that individual. 

The enchantment of a bespoke suit is not only in the outcome, but in the ceremony of having designed something specifically for you. It is with this fastidiousness, care and pride in one's work that we at Bespoke Proposals approach the design of our clients' unique engagement story.
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Get the YES

You've got the ring, you've got the plan, Bespoke is there dealing with all of the logistics. You're left with just one last task - figuring out the words to say. Most men forget to think about this part, mostly because they're worried about HOW they will propose (something Bespoke can take care of for you!). While a simple, "Will you marry me?" could suffice, this is your one chance to wow her. Tell her why you want to spend your life with her over any other girl in the world. Believe me, she has been dreaming of this moment her entire life and you don't want to say the wrong thing. Here are some questions you should ask while you're formulating the biggest question of your life:

1. What do you have now that you didn't have before you knew her?
2. How has your outlook of your life changed? Can you see your future more easily now?
3. When did you realize she was The One?
4. What are the things you love about her and why?
5. What are you most looking forward to in your new life together?

The Process

When developing the particulars about our company, we put the most thought into the process in which we help you plan your proposal. Just as a bespoke suit should be comfortable and easy to wear, so should our collaboration with you. We've broken it down into four simple steps that allow for as much or as little involvement as you are comfortable. We want you to come into this process knowing exactly what to expect so there are no surprises (we save those for your girl!). After we determine exactly what you need from us, we get to know you via a set of questions custom developed to this process. Then we take the answers to your questions and get to work preparing several proposal scenario options. Input from you is encouraged and appreciated as the proposal is eventually a reflection of your taste and love. We include mock-up, timeline and cost and never reuse ideas. Each one is built specifically from what we learn from you in Steps One and Two. Then we take care choosing a final plan, tweaking it according to your feedback and finally, it's time to get to work! We are excited to start working with you! 

Drawing from Next

Cabin Porn

You heard us, that's right, cabin porn. If you are like us and live in a city you probably fantasize about getting out of town every now and then. Especially this time of year. While daydreaming I came across a gem of a website called Cabin Porn. It's tagline, "Inspiration for your quiet place somewhere" screams proposal. Any of these would make a purely magical place to pop the question.

all photos from CabinPorn

Igloos

We are clearly on a winter habitat kick here at Bespoke. Today's shelter...igloos! Have you heard of Airbnb? If not, you've got to check it out. We love inns and hotels, but do appreciate a good idea, and Airbnb is certainly that. It's an online homeshare program on steroids. You can list your home or apartment for rent for a day, weekend, or year! But we digress. The coolest listing we've seen by far are these igloos. Starting at $89 per night, you can realize this childhood dream. We are picturing a proposal involving lots of hot toddies, staying warm by cuddling together, and even some eskimo kisses if you're lucky.

Or, build one in your backyard and save the airfare. Either way, this is the kind of creativity that knocks a proposal out of the park.