from Borrowedandblue.com
Spotlight On: Elizabeth of Bespoke Proposals
We have been absolutely smitten to get to know Elizabeth Carter, the incredible woman & the brains behind Bespoke Proposals. Bespoke Proposals launched in 2012 to assist some very special men from all over the country pull off to perfection the moment every girl has dreamed of since she was little: the day the man she loves asks her to marry him. We've all seen the movies - & maybe some of us in real life - how very nervous a man can be while planning, & especially executing, this moment. But with help from Elizabeth, he can be rest assured that not a thing will go awry, that his bride-to-be is in for the thrill of her life, and that she will have a story she'll love to tell for the rest of her life. We caught up with Elizabeth to learn a little more about how she got her start in the wedding biz, how Bespoke Proposalscame to be, & what her process is to make sure everything is just perfect. Enjoy! xo, Maribeth
HOW DID YOU GET YOUR START IN THE WEDDING BUSINESS?
I got my start in weddings when I was 20 years old. Tara Guerard of Soiree in Charleston, SC, graciously brought me on as her very first intern. As you know, Tara produces the most gorgeous events, and her passion for making weddings beautiful for brides and their families was contagious. I continued to intern for Tara for two years and learned invaluable lessons from her about entrepreneurship, managing a small business, and producing high-level gorgeous events on all scales.
HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR BESPOKE PROPOSALS?
So many of my friends have gotten engaged in the past eight or nine years, and I heard over and over again how bad their proposals were. These weren’t high maintenance women, just women who wanted this moment in their lives to be special. I thought, proposals are basically just mini events, how great it would be to use my experience to help men get it right?
Most of this industry caters to female customers. The male demographic is largely ignored and at best, underserved. Men need help too, and they also care about planning for special occasions, especially romantic ones like anniversaries, Valentines Day, and engagements. Our society increasingly markets off the shelf and standardized packages and products. This has even translated to engagements. Google “how to propose” and you’ll get millions of hits that are neither original nor personalized. Having an event planned for you is much like having a tailored suit. I saw a niche, and knew the idea of a tailored or “bespoke” service would appeal to male customers. Men love tailored suits, but many think that they simply can’t afford them. It’s ironic really, because with a new wave of tailors catering to custom suits, the practice is getting more and more affordable. Absent the material costs, proposal consulting is very affordable and I can sometimes even save clients money through my extensive vendor relationships.
A very happy Bespoke Proposals groom & his new wife!
WHEN YOU'RE WORKING WITH A GROOM-TO-BE, WHAT IS THE PROCESS TO GET TO THE BEST-EVER PROPOSAL?
The very first thing I like to do when I’m working with a new client is to get to know them as well as I can. Each of our proposals is tailored to that couple, so the more I know about the man, woman, and their relationship the better. We usually talk on the phone first to find out how far the man has gotten on his own. This is when I find out if he already a concept of what he wants and we determine exactly what level of involvement he needs from me. Some men merely want ideas that they can implement on their own and others want me to be there with them the entire way, helping them with all of the logistics and details.
Another important step in this part of the process is our questionnaire. I’ve developed a set of questions that give me special insight into the couple and their relationship. It includes questions like, how do you normally spend your Saturdays together, what three things could she not live without, and how is your life better now that she is in it?
Once I have learned everything I can, I get right to work. Within one week I send the man 3-4 proposal scenarios. Some men take these and implement themselves. Others continue to work with me to choose a scenario that is best for them, or we can combine, tweak and fine-tune the options to develop a comprehensive plan together. After we have a plan, I send them exact breakdowns of timeline, cost, etc. so they know exactly what to expect. I then deal with the details – booking hotel, restaurant, travel or car reservations, speaking with venue contacts to ensure the perfect night…the sky is the limit! I do whatever the scenario we have chosen calls for. I am there with the guy to be a sounding board until he gets the yes!
DO YOU FIND THAT GROOMS JUST LIKE HAVING A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE?
Yes! I think this is one of the most important hats I wear. Many men have an idea of how they want to propose, but they just need someone to let them know they are on the right track. They want this confirmation from a woman, but oftentimes they don’t feel like they can talk to their girlfriend’s mom, sisters, or best friends to get that confidence for fear of them divulging the secret. I provide that woman’s perspective not only in the beginning regarding the plan, but throughout the entire process. One of the biggest reasons proposals go wrong is because the man gets overly antsy and just wings it. I help guys stay patient and stick to the plan.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT HELPING GROOMS DEVISE THE BEST-EVER PROPOSAL SCHEME?
This work brings so much joy into my life. The period surrounding a proposal is such a happy time, filled with love and excitement. Being allowed a behind-the-scenes glimpse is truly an honor. The night before a proposal I barely sleep. It is just so much fun to know that a woman is about to have the thrill of her life, and she doesn’t even know it! I like to think it being a bit of happiness to the world, and that is all I could ever ask for in a career.
YOU WERE RECENTLY JUST A BRIDE YOURSELF! CONGRATULATIONS! HAVE ANY ADVICE YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR BRIDES-TO-BE?
Thank you! My best advice is to be decisive. Make a comprehensive to-do list and start systematically working your way through it, one thing at a time. Doing too many things at once can easily overwhelm you. There are so many choices out there that it can be difficult to wade through them all, but it is important to have confidence in your plan, and make decisions based on it. I am a big believer in gut feelings – try to make a decision and never second guess yourself!
The bride & groom on their Big Day!
SO, WHAT'S YOUR PROPOSAL STORY?
Morning has always been a very special time to my husband and I. We both lead very busy lives and oftentimes the morning is the only time when we can both be calm, quiet, and enjoy each other’s company. We have a weekend morning ritual from which we never stray. It’s a sacred tradition that may not look like much to an outsider looking in, but to us it’s perfect. For these reasons, my husband proposed to me in the early morning. We were at my parents’ house over Christmas and he was sleeping in the study downstairs. At 7:00 am, he came upstairs to my bedroom, woke me up, kneeled by the bed, and said the sweetest speech I could ever imagine. He knew it was important for me to be near my family, and they were all under the same roof so we could celebrate immediately. After the squealing stopped, my new fiancé asked me to change clothes because he had booked us an entire spa day together. We spent the day being pampered, sipping champagne, and excitedly talking about all of the fun plans we could now make together. That evening, we enjoyed a celebratory dinner with my parents and his that had been prearranged. The day was perfect, combining all the things that I wanted most from a proposal – romance, personalization, our families, and some time for the two of us to be alone to relish the moment. I could not have written it better myself!
WHAT IS ROMANCE TO YOU?
Romance to me is the art of knowing someone well and being able to create for them the perfect day. To me, the most romantic day would be outside on a sunny day with a bottle of good wine and a cheese plate. In fact, my husband and I spent our wedding night this way. We had an afternoon ceremony and spent the evening at the Ashby Inn outside of Washington, DC, relaxing on adirondack chairs, sipping wine on a vast green lawn, watching the sunset. But to others, romance is rose petals and violins. What matters in romance is showing your loved one how intimately you know them by creating a day that is tailored exactly to them, not the everyday notion of romance.
A Bespoke Proposals proposal!
DESCRIBE YOUR PERFECT DAY.
One of the perks to this line of business is the opportunity to personally check out some of the experiences I recommend for proposals. My most perfect day yet was a day I had last year with my husband to-be in Northern California. After a long day and night of traveling we woke up along the foggy Pacific coast in Stinson Beach, CA. We took a long walk down the cold, secluded beach and found a cozy café where we enjoyed a big breakfast and conquered a crossword by the fire. Then we hopped in the car and drove north to Tomales Bay where we visited an oyster farm and had a picnic lunch complete with local wine, cheese, and barbecued oysters. My perfect day isn’t complete without a good hand of gin rummy so we played a round and, since this is my perfect day, let’s say I won. Tired of the cold, we headed east to Sonoma where we spent the afternoon visiting wineries and ended up checking into the Lodge at Sonoma just in time for cocktail hour by the pool. Top the day off with a delicious meal at Girl and the Fig, and you’ve achieved my ideal day.
It was perfect and he didn’t even ask me to marry him. I couldn’t imagine if he had!
Ladies, are you and your boyfriend on the cusp of getting engaged? Sometimes men need a little nudge in the right direction to get the help they need. Send his email address to Elizabeth@BespokeProposals.com and she will send a subtle hint his way.
In the coming weeks, look out for a guest blog post from Elizabeth!
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